Insecurity Stunts Personal Growth
Insecurity cannot survive without you. It may be difficult to believe and accept, but we as individuals play an active role in just how much of our lives it infiltrates. We have a choice in how much energy we give it. I realized this a couple years back and it continues to prove itself to be true again and again.
When I am experiencing an instance of insecurity, there are always tell tell signs. I am short tempered, off balance and incapable of making a decision. I feel the need to judge, procrastinate and isolate. These traits are completely situational. Any or all of them can display themselves depending on the circumstances. It is in these moments that I benefit most from what I like to refer to as "The Pause". I stop, take a breath and try to identify what I am feeling. I ask myself if there is something I am afraid of. If the answer is yes, I ask myself what.
This is an incredible space to be in, because this is where I get to exercise my power of choice. I get to choose the next step. I get to choose how I react to these feelings. I get to be curious about myself and I get to do so, a much as I am able to in that moment, without judgement or shame. Though it may seem difficult to believe, when we are in this space, it is an opportunity to experience curiosity of self, acceptance of where we are in that moment and solution based thinking. Insecurity then becomes, not something to be hidden and endured, but something to be accepted and explored.
Personal Growth and Coaching in Action
Solution based thinking. What does this mean? For me, it means not sitting in morbid reflection. It means being honest with myself about where these feelings are coming from and asking for help identifying my blind spots when I need it. It means accepting that I may need help figuring it out. It means honoring where I am and acknowledging and accepting that with some work and a lot of self love, these feelings can and will become less present. It means asking myself what I need to do in order to change these thoughts and then following through with supportive action. It means rinse and repeat as many times as needed.
Letting go is not an easy process. I want to fully acknowledge that. I want to be perfect. I want to control. In my life, letting go seems to happen in stages. In the beginning, I wanted all the change right now, but I'm learning that slower it better. I liken it to enjoying a well prepared meal. I take small bites, chew carefully and thoughtfully, swallow and let it settle before going back for more. I embrace the moment. I remember to breathe. I remind myself that even the sun started as just a soft glow surrounded by dust and vapor. It was millions of years before it realized its true potential.
As you move through this process, if you find yourself needing support, encouragement and accountability, a coach may be just what you need. Think of a lifestyle coach as your own personal cheerleader. Check out my services to see what coaching is all about and how it can enrich your life, then visit my appointments page to secure your time with me. Remember that you are worth the work it takes to release yourself from insecurity. I believe that with all my heart. Now I just need you to believe it.